ADDITIONAL WORDS: MATT HUSSEy PHOTOGRAPHS: PA PHOTOS, CORBIS, REx FEATURES
ELECTION
When Gordon says
ShortList’s Ed West reveals what really happens
when the election machine swings into action
he US may think it rules the
political world with its election
excess, but nothing can match
the Mother of Parliaments
when it comes to outlandish traditions
and last-minute drama. With the decision
on election timing based on everything
from house-price rises to weather
forecasts (Tories do better when it’s
cold and wet), it seems fact is stranger
than fiction when it comes to the actual
goings-on on the way to the hustings…
T
DAY ONE: IT’s ON!
10.30am The cabinet and press secretary
will already know informally that an election
is to be called. Once it’s official, the prime
minister sends a formal notice requesting an
audience with the Queen at Buckingham
Palace. “In theory, the PM can just get his
secretary to write a letter asking for a general
election,” says political journalist Anthony
In Britain you need less ID to vote than is
required to rent a film from a video shop
Howard, who has covered elections since the
1960s, “but he will write a letter asking for an
audience first, out of courtesy.” Since Britain
has no written constitution, there are no set
rules, only custom and good manners. So
he could just text the Queen with “elecshun,
yeah?” and still be constitutionally correct.
11am Brown leaves Downing Street for the
trip to Buckingham Palace, where he formally
asks the Queen to dissolve Parliament. She
could say no, but the last time this happened
was in 1924 during a national emergency.
11.05am Brown calls the leader of the
opposition, David Cameron, from his Jag
to tell him the election is on. “It’s normally
regarded as good manners that the PM would
ring up his opposite number,” says Howard.
Two minutes of awkward small talk ensues.
The opposition, of course, already knows.
34 / www.ShortList.com
“A tenner says
I win… M’am”
“They will find it hard to disguise the fact
the PM has gone to Buckingham Palace,”
adds Howard. Brown’s not in the habit of
popping round there for tea, after all.
11.05am-11.30am The press gets wind of
events. Blogs are the first to run the story,
followed by the mainstream press within
half an hour. Sky News puts up a huge
‘Breaking News’ banner on the screen.
12.01pm “When Brown gets back he’ll do
an interview for telly immediately,” says
Howard. “Nick Robinson at the BBC and
all the others will have five minutes outside
10 Downing Street.” Strangely, Parliament
doesn’t have to be told first; in 2001, Tony
Blair announced the election while visiting
a school in south London.
12.10pm David Cameron appears on TV
to make a formal statement. Among the
most pressured few minutes of his career,
his short speech will be written months
before and rejigged dozens of times.
12.15pm Andy Coulson, Conservative
chief press secretary, immediately begins
calling up old friends in Fleet Street to
gather support. A former Sun man,
his ex-colleagues will have known about
the election before 99.99 per cent of the
Labour Party. “Blair would usually leak
the date to the press beforehand,” says
Howard. Like Alistair Campbell before
him, Michael Ellam (and his sidekick,
special adviser Damian McBride) will
call the Sun editor. As the biggest-selling
newspaper, it’s key to have it on board. A
call is placed to ITN to make sure that ‘The
Sun backs Brown’ is one of its lead stories.
12.45pm Opposition leaders hold a
meeting to put their planned timetable in
place. The Tories’ least uncharismatic
politicians are ordered into the 100 most
marginal seats, where the fighting is done.
Extra phone lines are installed, supporters
contacted, fundraisers grovelled to and
holidays cancelled. “I guess I picked a
bad day to quit smoking,” someone will
no doubt say at some point.
1pm A Buckingham Palace spokesman
announces a Royal Proclamation for the
dissolution of Parliament; first, though,
Parliament has to be “prorogated”, or
suspended, so “if there was a third World
War it could be called back”. Once the
proclamation is drawn up, it’s given to the
Queen to sign, and the Lord Chancellor
then attaches the ‘Great Seal of the
Realm’ to it. The election date is then set
for a Thursday at least 17 working days in
the future; there’s no law saying it has to
be a Thursday, it’s just tradition.
1.30pm Party chairmen book
advertising hoards and newspaper space.
Bookies will begin to receive a rush of bets
for the election – Brits spent £20m on the
last American presidential election and are
expected to squander even more on the
general election. No doubt someone will
beat the current record for the biggest win:
the £30,000 pocketed by multi-millionaire
Stuart Wheeler when he bet on a Tory
defeat in 1997 (he recently more than
made up for it when he gave them £5m).
DAY ThrEE: sO whO’s IN
ChArgE ThEN?
9am Parliament is formally dissolved.
From now until election day there are no
MPs – although they still get paid. Now
Parliament may not be recalled even if a
war does break out. In fact, nothing can
derail a general election, apart from
the death of the Queen – in which case
it’s postponed for two weeks.
10am When Parliament is
formally dissolved, five members
of the House of Lords officially
request the attendance of the
House of Commons. When all the
MPs are gathered the Royal Assent
is given and a quick speech made
by one of the Queen’s underlings.
The Clerk Of The Crown in
Chancery then issues ‘Writs
of Election’ for each of the
UK’s 651 constituencies.
The election countdown
officially begins.
12pm In the meantime,
who runs the country?
Er, no one really.
“The government still
exists,” says Howard,
“So are we all agreed that
the coasters were a wise
campaign expense?”
“but basically the country is run by
various high-up civil servants.”
DAY sIx: sTAND AND DELIvEr
4pm The last chance for anyone wishing
to stand as an MP (and come up with the
£1,000 deposit). If you receive less than
5 per cent of the vote, you lose the money,
a system designed to discourage nutters
from wasting our time. Election agents
must also be appointed – unlike actors
or writers, MPs by law have to have an
agent, someone who organises the local
campaign and takes account of their
expenses. Each candidate has a maximum
spending allowance of £7,150 plus 5p for
every voter in urban constituencies, and
£7,150 plus 7p for every voter in rural
areas. No party can therefore spend more
than £19.23m in total nationwide.
5pm The list of candidates for each
constituency is announced. They must
be 18 or over and British, Irish or
Commonwealth citizens.
6pm Last call for voters to declare why
a certain person should not be allowed to
stand, insanity being the only good cause
(this has never been successfully used).
Prisoners used to be allowed to stand,
but the law was changed in 1981 after
IRA hunger striker Bobby Sands became
the youngest member of the House
when he won the Fermanagh/South
Tyrone seat – three days before his
death from starvation.
12am If a candidate dies after day
six, the vote in that constituency is
postponed, unlike in the US where the
vote continues as normal. In 2000 the
people of Missouri elected Democrat
Mel Carnahan to the Senate, two
weeks after he was killed in a plane
crash, making him the first dead
man to win a seat in congress.
DAYs sEvEN TO 10: uNDEr
sTArTEr’s OrDErs
Forty-one million
people receive
voter-registration
cards. In most
Arthritis
was killing
Cameron’s
youthful image
countries you have to
show some ID when
turning up to vote;
in Britain you need
less ID than would
be required to rent
a film in your local
video shop.
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