Always use the guest’s
first name either at the
beginning or the end
of the statement. If
you’re introducing
a group, the rule is
highest rank to lowest.”
Don’t get distracted
IG: “Turn off your mobile
phone before you enter
the restaurant. No one
Reservoir Dogs’ Like
around you wants to
A Virgin discussion:
hear your conversation,
best left at home
least of all your lunch
guest. Even if you
answer it and then take the call outside,
you have just left your lunch companion
alone. Do not underestimate the insult you
are making by saying, ‘Just got to take this.’
Also, avoid glancing around the room at
other people. It’s a sign that you’re looking
for something – or someone – better.”
OPENING CONVERSATION
Keep it formal TM: “Salesmen often
try to be too personal too quickly, which
“Before you
arrive, think of an
opening statement
to make as you’re
shaking hands”
alienates people. Asking too many
questions about family or where they
go in the evening without prompting can
leave the client feeling pressured.”
IG: “When you want to move the
conversation from chit-chat to business,
use natural breaks in conversation, like
ordering drinks or the lunch arriving.”
GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS
Speak less, listen more TM: “The key
is to get them to talk more than you. If
you’re discussing business, you want
them to tell you what they want, rather
than you telling them what you think they
need. Sales people have a habit of selling
themselves, not the business. Doing only
20 per cent of the talking is right. People
will find you genuinely interesting if you
appear to empathise with their needs
rather than your own.”
Understand their way of working
TM: “People speak and think using three
different groups of language: visual,
auditory and kinesthetic [a hands-on
approach]. Visual people tend to use
phrases such as ‘a bright future’ and
‘clearing things up’. Auditory people use
words like ‘harmonising’ and ‘resonating’,
while kinesthetic talkers prefer dealing
phrases like ‘get a handle’ and ‘grapple
with’. Finding out which they use more
will help show you see the world in the
same way they do.”
TAKE CONTROL
A gradual process TM: “It’s a case of
follow the leader. To begin with, the client
should lead conversation and behaviour so
that it appears you share a similar view of
the world. When there’s a good level of
rapport you can gradually take control
of the conversation. If the client follows
(and they should), you’ve made them feel
comfortable enough to share your views,
which makes you more influential.”
SEALING ThE DEAL
Summarise and suggest
TM: “Summarise your conversation to
put things freshly in perspective. Then do
what’s called the ‘test close’: conclude by
saying that if you satisfy x, y and z would
that be something they’d like to do? If it is,
then you can suggest arranging another
meeting and gradually the conversation
will come to a natural close.”
LEAVING
Don’t just cut and run IG: “The most
important thing to do when leaving is to
keep an option of contact of open. Suggest
you follow up with a call in a few days.”
FOLLOW-UP
Don’t be too keen IG: “Leaving a gap
between lunch and the next contact is
important to show you’re not pressuring
them. But you also want to show you’re
keen to maintain a relationship. An email
should refer to points in the future and
give the impression that the lunch was the
start of a long relationship.”
MEET ThE ExPERTS
The Image Expert
Jennifer Aston
of Aston+Hayes
(aston-hayes.com)
is a corporate
image consultant
and personal brand coach.
The Etiquette
Expert Ian
Ganderton is
a leading authority
on impression
management,
business and dining etiquette
and image consultancy.
The Behaviour
Expert Tom
Mackay is a
master trainer of
neuro-linguistic
programming at
Mackay Solutions in London.
Memorable meals
Restaurants have been home to some
of history’s most dramatic scenes…
Tony Blair and Gordon Brown
Granita, Islington, 1994 A lunch
meeting that has subsequently
become known as the ‘Granita Pact’
is thought to be the root of the Blair/
Brown rivalry that’s lasted to the
present day. It’s thought that, following
John Smith’s death, the pair came
to a gentleman’s agreement about
the future of the party at this
north-London dining house. Brown
certainly left the lunch prepared
to back Blair for the leadership, but
this was alledgedly based on Blair’s
promise to hand over power to
Brown during his second term.
Arsene Wenger and Peter Hill-Wood
North-London restaurant, June 2007
People thought that
Wenger would not
sign a new deal with
Arsenal but he was
convinced over a
dinner with Peter
Hill-Wood and Danny
Fiszman, the leading
shareholder. He gave
his word there and then,
outlined his vision for the
next four years and put
pen to paper within weeks.
Geoff Hoon and
Dr David Kelly
Ministry of Defence
canteen, 2003 Kelly
admitted that he had
discussed Iraq’s banned
weapons programme with
Hoon, but this was fiercely
“Yes! This
new-fangled
‘deodorant’
actually works”
Gordon secretly
laughed at Tony’s rubbish
grey tie power-dressing
denied by the defence secretary, who
claimed he had never met with Kelly.
Reports later surfaced that Hoon
and Kelly had moved to a table away
from other ministry officials in the
Whitehall dining room in mid-April.
By 26 July a MoD spokesman
confirmed this, but added, “All
I will say is that it was not formal.”
Paul Castellano and Thomas Bilotti
Sparks Steakhouse, New York, 1985
Gambino Mafia boss Castellano and
Mobster Bilotti were heading into
Sparks for a slap-up dinner when they
were gunned down, execution-style, by
four hitmen. John Gotti ordered the
hit so he could take control of the
Gambino family. Years later some of
his hit squad turned state
witnesses and testified
against Gotti, who was
later convicted of murder.
Tony Blair and
Nicolas Sarkozy
Thiou, Paris, 2007 The
most recent of Blair’s power
lunches took place at this
expensive Thai restaurant on
the banks of the Seine days
after publicly announcing
his retirement. Onlookers
reported Blair’s schmoozing
of the French president with
his fluent French. The suspicion
is that Blair is trying to gain
French backing in his attempt
to attain the EU president
post, which will become
available in 2009.
www.ShortList.com / 31
PhoToGr APhS: ALLSTAr, GE T T y IMAGES
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