MAUREEN THE TRAVEL INDUSTRY’S FAVOURITE COLUMNIST
Craig has Carr trouble
Regrettably I was unable to
attend last week’s Travel Weekly
Globe Travel Awards – the
evening is always such fun. I enjoy
the moments of anticipation that
precede the announcement of the
winners of each award – it’s the gap
between hope and realisation and it
always gets to me. I’d make a rubbish
Oscar nominee, so it’s just as well
that’s ruled out.
Anyway, I hear that a good time
was had by all and that all the award
winners were deservedly thrilled.
My sources on the Travel 2 table
told me that two of their number from
the marketing team thought they’d
spotted T2’s Craig Palmer chatting
at the cocktail party. With only his
rear view to go on, they pounced,
approaching their unsuspecting prey
from behind. Of course, it turned
out not to be Craig at all, but the
ubiquitous and inimitable Alan Carr.
The chatty comedian was unfazed –
it probably happens to him all the time
– but Craig has since been nicknamed
Alan and is less than amused. I’d say
there are worse nicknames to end up
with but I understand that it might
get rather tiresome to have to fend
off all those double entendres!
Rupert ‘Marx’ your card
If Craig made a good Alan Carr
look-alike, then by all accounts,
Rupert Diggins, marketing manager
of Balkan Holidays, is doing a fabulous
impression of Groucho Marx.
Admittedly this is by default rather
than design, as his hunched and
bent-kneed gait is the result of a
recent ski trip in the Bulgarian resort
of Bansko. Rupert admits that the
last time he took to the slopes for
ski lessons was way back in his
glamorous youth – circa 1984 – so it
comes as no surprise that, after four
hours on day one he was feeling the
strain. Add in to the equation a couple
of rather humiliating tumbles
and he was starting to regret
the lack of preparation.
Rupert is not one to let
the side down, however, and
certainly not in front of the press
pack he was hosting. As he said
himself, agents are a challenge on
fam trips, but the press are something
else! It took real effort to ski and
answer questions at the same time,
but he got over that multi-tasking
hurdle and gave them
a trip to remember.
In spite of wrenched knees, sore
calves and sprained ankles, Rupert
led the eager team through the
cobbled streets of Bansko, and the
pain of his exertion on the mountain
was put behind him as they enjoyed a
delicious meal of Bulgarian favourites,
including a meat platter followed by a
dessert of “strained buffalo milk”.
“They certainly do have enquiring
minds,” Rupert said of the journalists
at the table. “One asked whether
the buffalo were local and another
wanted to know how the buffalo had
strained itself!”
What a tool
A young man called in to ask if it was
still possible to get married at sea. He
is planning a surprise for his partner
and intends to propose on board a
cruise to the Caribbean.
“I’m a bit nervous, actually,” he
confessed, “because I’m not certain
MAUREEN
With only his rear view to go on, they pounced,
approaching their unsuspecting prey from behind.
Of course, it turned out not to be Craig at all, but
the ubiquitous and inimitable Alan Carr.
she’ll say yes. I think she might be
commitment-phobic. We’ve been
together for a few years but she’s
never even broached the subject.
What if she says no?”
“In that case,” I replied, trying to
lighten his mood, “I guess it’ll be a
case of man overboard. “I suppose it
depends on whether she’s the sort of
girl that enjoys surprises.”
Apparently, she isn’t. “The last time
I planned a romantic break it all went
pear-shaped,” he told me. “I booked a
hotel in Cornwall that described itself
as a ‘romantic getaway’ but when we
got there, we were shown to a room
with two single beds. I went down to
the reception to ask for a double room,
but the girl just told me to bolt the
beds together.”
I nodded sympathetically as he
continued, clearly reliving every
vivid moment.
“I let rip. I told her the last thing
anyone wants to do after a romantic
meal out and three sheets to the
wind is a spot of DIY. And where was I
supposed to get the tool from?”
It was very hard not to laugh and
fill in all the gaps where cheap gags
might go, but I restrained myself and
told him that whatever happened, the
experience would be unforgettable
but that it might be prudent to pack a
life jacket, just in case.
Maureen Hill works at Travel Angels in
Gillingham, Dorset
www.travelweekly.co.uk January 29 2010 | Travel Weekly | 31
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